Existential angst in fitba's theatre of the absurd | Completetosh.com, by Neil McIntosh

My favourite story of the day: news from Italy that Inter Milan have been ordered to pay “existential damages” to a fan who was offended by Inter supporters’ chants and banners describing Naples as the “sewer of Italy”.

Inter must stump up €1,500 after the fan was left ”indignant and deeply hurt” by the chants, during Napoli’s 2-1 defeat there, presumably having had his meaning and essence in life challenged by the home fan’s crude messages.

While I think there’s hardly enough Nietzsche in the game these days, let’s hope that such litigation never reaches these shores, where many of m’colleagues could be bankrupted for their taunts; describing Crystal Palace as “a small town in Millwall”, for instance, or damning Luton Town’s “shit ground, no fans”.

Plymouth boss Paul Sturrock, too, should offer up thanks that British courts have yet to acknowledge the problem of post-traumatic existential angst, following his ill-judged remarks (Video on YouTube) to some Dundee United fans at the weekend.

After a pre-season friendly between his Plymouth side and United, Sturrock greeted the adoring visiting fans with a low bow, before wishing them – over the PA system – all the best for the coming season.

“And,” he added to huge cheers, “make sure you beat those Scumdee bastards the next time you play them.”

The inevitable disappointment and offense felt by Scu- sorry, Dundee officials was duly recorded by a passing Daily Record scribe, who gently patted the shoulder of club chief executive Dave MacKinnon as he sniffed: “It is ill-advised to make a comment like that but it is a matter for Paul Sturrock to explain why he said those things in public.

“It was obviously a mistake and clearly defamatory. If he is man enough to come out and apologise to the fans for the statement, I am sure the matter will be put to bed but that is entirely up to him.”

While I would never want to question the validity of MacKinnon’s grief – not for a moment – I, for one, hope no apology is forthcoming, lest we look back on these days as the start of a slippery slope to a litigious hell.

Think, after all, of the sums that could change hand after an Old Firm game in Scotland, where paying punters aren’t known to hold back in their attempts to existentially disrupt one another – repeatedly and violently – before, during and after each game. Chaos could ensue; we might witness the bankrupting of both clubs, as they are forced to hand all their assets, payout by payout, to rival fans too distraught to do anything other than seek pecuniary compensation for their loss of self.

Those might be bright times, perhaps, for philosophy, but surely the darkest of nights for our national sport.

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COMMENTS / 7 COMMENTS

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Bookmarks about Existential thought this on Jan 02 09 at 9:15 am

I hope you’re not feeling too much existential angst after tonight’s result…

Nick Miners thought this on Aug 05 08 at 8:40 pm

Echoing Nicks sentiments, I take no fear in quoting the old Scottish football chant concerning tonight’s Rangers result, namely “You’re shit, an you know you are”.

Reason being, under Scots law, I can call upon the defence of Veritas which – as you know – is also title of a well known student newspaper.

Shaun Milne thought this on Aug 05 08 at 9:02 pm

thanks, both, for your messages of support. I expected no less. Instead of getting massively, some would argue worryingly, existential this evening in the bar of my choice, I’m going to say (I) at least now we can focus on league duties and (ii) at least we made Europe, albeit briefly for one of our most humiliating exits yet. Shaun.

Neil Mc thought this on Aug 05 08 at 9:16 pm

BTW . We’ve claimed Kaunas as the Hearts ‘B’ team.

Shaun Milne thought this on Aug 05 08 at 9:32 pm

Unfortunately, Scotland (and in particular Scottish Football) is now populated by MOPE’s (Most Offended People Ever).

These people go out of their way to be offended and are making the line between rivalry and bigotry smaller and smaller as the days go by……as is their want!

These days, to suggest you dislike or do not agree with the points of view of a team/colour/manager/ex manager/chairman/player/ex player/tea lady/or ned fan who hangs about outside the stadium – you are instantly branded as a bigot!

As we all know, AC Milan fans welcome and encourage love of all things relating to Inter Milan and would never dream of creating such divisions within a cities population……and the feeling is mutual…..eh……no!

Barcelona – Real Madrid, Roma – Lazio, Feyenoord – PSV, Benfica – Porto…….. all hate each other with a passion similar to Rangers and Celtic, Dundee Utd and Dundee, Hearts and Hibs – but the striking difference is that there is not the OBVIOUS religious divide between the teams as you get in Scotland. Yes, political, but not religious…..which I would argue is the root of more upset and war over the years than politics has ever provided, and therefore magnifies the MOPE cause and is an all to convenient reason to complaint, moan and be perpetually offended.

Truth is, rivalry has gone out the window – particularly in Scotland (perhaps Britain) as people become more and more willing to be offended by, what is 95% of the time, something that is either true or funny.

I agree that some banners seen at football can be offensive – but it’s so rare these days.

The white knight brigade has served its purpose to a point – it’s time to give football back to the people again……and let them have a right good go at one another!

The ever so eager Daily ‘Why let the truth get in the way of a good story’ Record, who knew there would be someone offended at Paul Sturrock’s comments about Dundee, are the same people who sat on their hands and did nothing as bananas were thrown at Mark Walters!

Contradiction, deflection and denial are the trademark of any good MOPE!

This continually offended section of society is now feeding the press, who are all too willing to print anything they think will sell papers and create ‘debate’. Unfortunately, it’s playing right into their hands!

For example, depending on your particular footballing preference, I know you will be sitting reading this thinking, “oh God, another moaning Rangers/Celtic/Hibs/Hearts/Dundee Utd/Hamilton/Aberdeen/St Mirren/Falkirk/Motherwell/Kilmarnock/Inverness Cale supporter (delete were applicable).