Mrs Tosh, making a rare midweek appearance at home, is in uncompromising mood during the televised Italy vs Scotland match. “Oooh, is that the Hearts goalie?” she asks. Missing my disapproving mumble, she presses on.
“I never knew he was Scottish – he doesn’t look it. Who’d have thought he was Scottish! With those muscles… so tall!”
“As opposed to what?” I ask.
“When I saw him during that Hearts match I assumed he was from the Eastern block. Russian, maybe. Yes, like the Russian boxer in Rocky.”
She’s referring to the time she saw Craig Gordon swapping shirts at the end of a Hearts/Rangers match. Between bites of pizza (hey – we are playing Italy) I’m taking this as badly as you might expect.
Undaunted, Mrs Tosh starts Googling for images of “topless Craig Gordon“. She fails to find the snap of him in the skin-tight Nike vest she was hoping for. But she does turn up this story about a man so drunk he ate the crotch of his own underwear in the belief it would help him pass a breathalyser test.
I was just surfin’ and came across this. I’m Scottish and a Hearts fan as well as being a Management Consultant…..the pain! Thanks!