Life has very few certainties, but I have one: I will never, ever be a customer of NTL again. The pisspoor UK cableco inflicted its notions of “service” on me for four years while I lived in Swindon. They were the only source of broadband for a while, which is why I stuck it out.
I’ll never forget the afternoon I ordered a pay-per-view football match, and then - at the appointed hour - found nothing but snow on my screen. I then listened to panpipe hold music on their technical helpline for the entire 90 minutes plus half time of the match, before giving up. And then they billed me for the game.
So, I got much delight from this story in MediaGuardian (reg required). A chap, similarly frustrated by their call queue system, found a way to change the message greeting callers (which, in itself, highlights NTL’s ineptness). He changed it to something more appropriate.
“Hello, you are through to NTL customer services. We don’t give a fuck about you, basically, and we are not going to handle any of your complaints. Just fuck off and leave us alone. Get a life.”
On Tuesday, he was acquitted of “making a grossly offensive message”, magistrates judging in their wisdom that his message was merely offensive, not grossly so. The story’s payoff line is also a gem:
“NTL’s media centre put the Guardian on hold, suggested we try another number and then declined to comment.”
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COMMENTS / 2 COMMENTS
paul berger thought this on Jun 09 05 at 3:28 pmI have had a similar experience lately with Linksys. My wireless router has been playing up for the past 10 days. I have called twice, spent a total 4 hours on the phone to Linksys tech support (which I discovered yesterday is manned by some poor sod in Manilla for whom it was 3am) and endured endless switching on and off of modems, computers and routers until I finally gave up.
One of the main problems is that my desktop computer is a Mac, which Linksys does not support! So we would always come to a point where the tech advisor would tell me that the problem was either with my Mac or my modem or my ISP (all of which work fine without the wireless router)! Anyway, I gave up and have resolved to save my pennies and buy an Airport Express.
Rob thought this on Jun 10 05 at 8:05 amSince most people switch over to full-on rage as soon as they hear the recorded message of an automatic switchboard, NTL really take things to extremes. I don’t know of anybody who has used NTL who hasn’t then spent a minimum of 40 minutes on hold trying to reach their customer services.
My own experience came when I was moving house - to a street without cable anyway - and I just couldn’t get them on the phone to close my account.
Even if NTL were the *only* way you could get internet, telephony, and television, I would never use them again.
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